home Features How to Ask Somebody Out

How to Ask Somebody Out

By William DeBruce

Freshman, Austin Hung, trying to network with freshman, Chloe Duong

You need to spice up the way you go about doing things. Specifically, you need to know how to ask someone out, because the art of asking someone out is dying. According to William Nacouzi, a psychology major from Hampton University, “Dating is dead.” Nacouzi further explains that the nature of dating and requesting romantic appointments has changed, due to modern technology. Dating apps fuel the easy route for many young adults. When using technology to ask someone out, it is much easier to cope with possible rejection, as you are not really there in person. The following guide will help you be independent from technology when it comes to flirtatious demands.


In order to perform these feats of ardor, you need to have confidence. Not over-confidence. That’s bad. But you NEED to be confident in your confidence and keep it confidential. You also need to be committed to your crush. Not committed as in ready to be emotionally attached to his or her every whim, but committed as in– you are ready to ask out that certain person and prepared for a potential disinclination towards your request. (It’s actually not that bad.)

Admiration Letter

Back in Elementary school, I wrote Lov-, I mean Admiration Letters to a finite number of people. During my time at Design Tech High School I have written only one.

Example of an Admiration Letter. Not directed at any specific person.

This approach requires you to invest in your hormonal sentiments. Sometimes water from your face may even dampen the paper you so delicately inscribe upon. You must comment on the amazing things you find in the person to whom you write. You may even want to encourage the person to continue their good works.

When you are finished, fold up the paper. If you’d like to remain anonymous, you’re going to need to be a super sneaky rabbit. Either slip it into their backpack/purse/satchel/pocket without them noticing, or leave it in a spot where they are most likely to find it or come across it. Many years ago I performed this approach on Ashlee Jordan, now a student at a California Secondary Education Institution. In an exclusive interview, Jordan shares her experience in receiving it: “It felt kinda weird and unexpected to receive.” Jordan further reveals a call to action in a riveting interview over Instagram’s Direct Message feature: “[I] felt special and yea [I] think young adults should send love letters [to each other] because [it is] cute and sweet and you can express your love easier on paper if you get scared or nervous.”

Admiration Letter being delicately deposited into a backpack.

Mystery Note

I came up with this technique when I was a mere freshman. It did cause quite a flurry amongst the friend group of the Mystery Note’s recipient.

Example of a Mystery Note

First you need to write your message on a strip of paper. Then cut it half. You’re going to give one half to your beloved, and  you keep the other half. Make sure the half you give is cohesive enough to convey the task required of the recipient. Place your Potential Significant Other’s half of paper in a place where he or she will most likely see it, but make sure that nobody is aware of your actions. Then you may watch the flurry flourish. Eventually, you will need to reveal that you have the other half of the paper. I utilized this art form with Candace Tsai, a junior at a local Bay Area high school. In another exclusive interview, she recalls: “[I was] confused. I didn’t know what [the mystery note] was for. I didn’t know people still did that kind of old-timey stuff”.

Mystery Note being sneakily placed in a backpack.

The Face-to-Face Ask

Probably the most daring approach of all time. You’ll need an extra 1000 points of confidence for this.

You’ve got to really know who you will be speaking to. Understanding who the person is and anticipating his or her reactions is a definite must. Experiment with some “openers”, see what works and what doesn’t. Come up with a game plan about what you’re going to say, how you’re going to say it, and when you’re going to say it. Lastly, you should test your approach and ask for their hand in a quasi-romantic relationship. If it doesn’t go uphill, try to revise. A student, who shall be named Veronica for privacy concerns, was once asked out on a date. The Dragon attempted an interview with Veronica, but she politely declined. Veronica, I immensely apologize if our interaction was uncomfortable. In addition, I’m very sorry if my actions regarding this matter have caused you anxiety or unnecessary concern.


Final one, promise. Go to your best friend or someone you constantly hang out with, and ask them to hook you up with someone you slightly would like to converse with, possibly during a shared activity that encourages mutual bonding.

2 thoughts on “How to Ask Somebody Out

  1. I really liked this article! It was amusing to read and generally uplifting. I was surprised that people still used notes to ask people out. Personally, I would do it in real life. However, I can see how a note would be appealing. On the other hand, perhaps you should have given more advice for asking people out in real life. For example, set a few words to say in your mind beforehand, but what you will actually say will probably be different and better. Overall though, I really enjoyed this article, and perhaps it will help me in the future.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *