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Best Frost-Bites

By: Michael Bentley

What’s better than a meal that you can cook in less than three minutes?

Photo by Evan Tung

As a soon to be college student, I realized I needed to find a quick and easy addition to the standard dorm cuisine, and I know just the thing: microwave mac and cheese. Which mac and cheese  will I eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for four years straight? I decided to find out.

Amy’s Light & Lean Macaroni & Cheese.

Now, I am not normally one to go for the healthy choice, but I figured I needed some way to prevent my freshman fifteen. Unfortunately, Amy’s Light and Lean was not the right choice, and incredibly disappointing. The macaroni was fine. The issue was that the melted cheese tasted like nothing. It was as if they mixed liquid tofu up with the standard cheese. They should have called their meal Macaroni & Tasteless Sauce. This was a major letdown, and I guess my healthy diet won’t be starting anytime soon.

Atkins Mac & Cheese

This time, I thought I was in business considering that Atkins provides nearly half my daily allotted sodium in just one serving. It was a disaster right out of the gate. I opened the box and inside was the standard container, but it had a huge indentation in the bottom like you see on a wine bottle. However, this displacement of mac and cheese may have actually been a good thing, because it tasted awful. The macaroni had a disturbing flour-like powdery texture, and to make it worse, the macaroni noodles were far too short. I felt like it had been minced up for an old person to eat. This was a hard pass and my search for even a decent microwave mac and cheese continued.

The Signature Select Mac and Cheese.

This seemed the most promising of the bunch. I knew it must be good, because the box said “Quality Guaranteed”. It looked great; the macaroni was the proper length, and there was plenty of cheese. My hopes were crushed after I took my first bite. It had a lovely creamy texture, but the cheese tasted spoiled. I, honest to God, had to check the expiration date on the box to make sure it wasn’t old. It was as if the milk they used to make the cheese was curdled.. If Signature Select considers this“Quality Guaranteed”, then this task of finding a decent microwave mac and cheese must be impossible, and my only course of action is to give up this hunt.

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