Kazi Hussaini | firstname.lastname@example.org | March 13, 2019
It’s a normal day at Design Tech High School — the birds are chirping, the freshmen are laughing, and the students are stressing. All of a sudden, you hear a piercing screech “I need to urinate!” and the entire school knows who it is: Tyler Campos.
For the five of you who don’t know who Campos is, he is a senior and co-founder of the Fish Club. His constant shrieking, cursing, and offensive statements lead many to believe that he’s insane. He is not though, he is just a bit odd. He has even occasionally exhibited moments of rational thought, mostly when discussing the d.tech fish tank.
Senior Izabella Guerrero, Campos’ girlfriend, met Campos at d.tech in her freshman English class and became best friends with him immediately because as she said, “he was always making me laugh and laugh until I almost peed.” After going to India in their junior year, the two started dating. Guerrero said that the weirdest thing Campos has done is the “Orphans in Peru” video, a nonsensical video of Campos running around the Rollins campus screaming the phrase, “Would you donate to orphans in Peru?” Guerrero’s favorite memory of Campos was their trip to India. When asked why she believes that Campos is such a weirdo, Guerrero said that he does it to “impress her.”
Campos’ best friend, junior Kyle Fujii, met Campos during math when he found out they had a common interest. “I was in Freedom’s class and he was looking at coral on his Chromebook and I was like ‘Oh shoot, this guy’s looking at coral,’” Fujii said. As a coral collector himself, Fujii was elated to interact with someone else who shared this interest. They talked and became best friends immediately.
Fujii recalls a time when he and Campos were driving around, going to fish stores and looking at coral. He described the drives and adventures they have had in the stores, reminiscing on a particular time that they were listening to Christmas songs on the radio. “I was singing along to the Christmas songs really poorly and Campos told me to shut up.” Despite the harsh comments, Fujii considers Campos one of his closest friends.
Julia Green, a junior who journeyed to India with Campos during the spring intersession of 2018 said: “He’s definitely hiding something, I’ve seen him be super real like three times.” Apparently, Tyler becomes very quiet and moody after dark, which may possibly lead to a rare deep conversation. “Past 8 P.M., he gets kinda upset,” Green stated.
When asked why he is weird, Campos responded with, “Well, it once was read in the Bible that the Corinthians will kill you if you do something that they don’t like – that is straight from the Bible. Now, I have spoken to the Corinthians and they like everything I do, so if I change, they’ll come after me.” When asked again, Campos responded with, “All dogs speak British, but not Spanish,” followed by the profound thought: “Maybe there’s a problem with society, not me.” Then Campos screamed nonsensical statements and licked people in the vicinity.