Ethan Yu | email@example.com | April 1, 2019
NOTE: This article is an April Fools article, and should not be regarded as fact or truth in any way. This article does not reflect the views or reporting of the d.tech Dragon and is for entertainment purposes only.
It’s just a normal day and I’m casually walking down the hall to my next class, when suddenly I overhear a student walking past me say, “Are you serious? There’s no story on The Dragon again! That’s two days in a row!” Little did they know, they just walked by an editor of the newspaper. I wanted to turn and just yell at him because that student clearly had no idea how hard it is. Well LeT mE tElL yOu!
The first step: finding an article to write about! Sounds like the easiest part, huh? NOPE! My goal is to avoid hearing students say, “Damn, that was a lame article,” but it’s pretty hard to do when there is nothing interesting going on at the school, EVER! So if you want more content here’s a suggestion: BE LESS BORING!!
After figuring out what I’m going to write about, I go and get interviews, but you people just LOOVE to make my life harder, don’t you. If I can’t find specific people in person, I’ll email them to schedule an interview. You’d think that since everyone has a chromebook and a phone people would check their emails. WRONG! Basically 100% of the time after sending the email, I STILL will not have a response after DAYS. C’mon people. Can you be a decent human being and take twenty seconds out of your insignificant life to respond and say, “Sure! I’d love to do an interview with you. I’m available during ___. Thank you so much for working so hard on the Dragon. I appreciate it.” See it’s not that hard…
After what feels like 5 years of waiting for a response, I finally get one. However, doing the interview is not that fun either. Sometimes I have to take a whole FIFTEEN minutes out of my lunch to interview someone! That’s half my lunch time gone! Fifteen minutes of my life that I will never get back! And all for what? To write an article so you will have something to read when you are bored in class and don’t want to pay attention to the teacher! Well, listen here buddy! I wish I had the luxury to do that! Sometimes I have to miss class to do an interview because that person is not available during any other time. So being the decent person I am (take notes people who don’t respond to my emails!), I take time out of my own education to accommodate the other person’s schedule, and since I miss some of class, I have to teach the material myself during my non-existent free time! (Nominate me for self-directed superstar please!)
Now that all that painful interviewing is over with, I can finally start inflicting myself with the pain of actually writing the article. I have to spend upwards of up to 6 hours procrastinating, listening and transcribing interviews, and writing something resembling a rough draft before sending it to my editor for the first round of edits. After that I have to shamefully go back edit my article after my own editor tears it apart and address my edits to perfect my article just so it’s of high enough quality for you to read. And on top of that I have to do my normal schoolwork, so I better not hear you complaining about how you have soooo much homework.
Now that you know the full story, think twice before you criticize The Dragon. Because it’s extremely hard work and you only make my job harder! So why don’t you show some empathy and appreciate the work we do because we write articles for your pleasure and if we don’t get an article out everyday well TOO BAD!